Today has provided me with nothing to write about, but somewhere in the depths of my mind I think I’ve come up with a picture of what I currently am thinking, or not thinking. So whether this is of interest to you or not, I can’t say I have any deep meaning to it. It’s just a picture of my mind. Hope everyone has had a fantastic Saturday night! Enjoy the read!
Walking circles through a seemingly endless abyss. There has to be a way out of here somewhere…light, I see light. I walk towards it only to find that I’ve walked in another circle. Where is the way out? It has to be here somewhere. How did I get here? I can’t remember. I try to retrace my steps, maybe if I walk the other way I will find a way out. No, I’ve seen this before. If only I could go in a straight line it would be so much easier. Eventually I sit down in the middle of the abyss and give up. I can’t make it out, I’ll never make it out of the circle. It has me trapped in its depths, playing tricks on my mind showing me something new that isn’t there. Is this a battle of my mind or my body? My sense of direction or a psychological war between me and the abyss…maybe it’s neither or maybe it’s both. Maybe I will never know or maybe the answer is somewhere deep within me. I attempt to focus my energy on finding the answer within myself but to no avail. There is no one to ask how to get out and no way to contact anyone outside because the abyss blocks everything. Wait, is that the key? If I can’t speak with anyone what makes this abyss so powerful? Again I focus my energy inside, clinging to that singular thought searching for the source. A darkness grows, thicker and thicker, my mind seems consumed by it. It drinks my creativity, my knowledge, my thoughts…stillness. I need to be still, to be empty so the void has nothing to feed on. I push the thoughts out, the worries, the futile attempts at solving the issue. The darknesss seems confused, it begins shrinking, nothing to feed its hunger. Nothing more for it to find as I create an abyss of my own for it to get lost in. I continue to meditate on the stillness, on nothing. The cloud shrinks further, its tendrils pulled in as it loses the strength and will to go on. It seems to find its own circles to walk and at that moment I crush the abyss. Fighting it as though wielding a sword, slashing, cutting. There is light inside of it, the knowledge I need to gain freedom again. It attempts to fight back but has nothing to fight with as I have emptied its cage, it tries to run but doesn’t seem to know where to go. Pulsing darkness, like the beat of a heart, it weakens as it uses its energy to fight back my attacks. The light grows stronger from within, I feed on it, my attacks grow in intensity and lethality as its defenses weaken. With a final shriek of horror the darkness abates leaving the answer behind. Freedom. I have found the answer, it is neither forward nor backwards it is a winding path that I must walk to set myself free. One filled with peril but one I know I will survive, the darkness cannot reach me any longer. It will be back but this time I will know how to fight it, this time I will beat it much sooner. Someday it will never return.