Abstract, Personal Note, Relationships, Thoughts

Inspirational Demons

We all have those things we do that we are ashamed of. When I am alone sometimes I sit and think about the things I do and wonder why. Obviously non of us are perfect, sometimes I wish I was…you meet someone who you want to be a better person for. That person that you don’t deserve cause they seem perfect. Beautiful, kind, a passion for others and then there is me. It’s easy to get caught in those thoughts and want to tell them that they are better off without you. Then at the same time you don’t want to be without them so you try to fix yourself. Try to be a better version of you for that perfect person, it’s a hard fight to fight alone. Eventually you lose, they see you for you and some stay and some leave. Some try to help you fight but it’s my fight, how do you fight my fight? How can you understand my struggle if it’s not yours. Maybe thats the thing that’s perfect, you want me to be a better me. You are here to help me, support me and strengthen me. You don’t even know what I’m talking about, my fight is my fight. My guilt is my guilt and you can’t change that. I can’t change that. 

I want to be a better person for you, that’s what we all need. Someone to live for, someone to be better for. Someone who we love enough that the love changes us. Melts our cold hearts and strengthens it so we both feel and fight at the same time.

Riddles. It’s all fake. My words, my thoughts, my mind. It all counters itself to find a way to say something without saying it. 

Fear. The thing we fight against but it chases us day to day so we run. 

Strength. What I think I have but maybe I’m weak and strength is the face I wear to hide my weakness and fear. 

Worthy. What I want to be, but am not really. 

Love. The thing I think I understand but in reality have no clue what it actually means. 

Advice. What I pretend to give, what you think I have, when I’m just a fool performing for a myself to make me smile. 

Wisdom. My mind is a pool of thoughts that mean nothing and help no one. 

Stupidity. What is most likely the root of my entire life and controls my actions. 

Direction. I don’t have it. My compass is broken, there is north, there is south.

Challenge. What does that even mean? How do you challenge someone you don’t know? You can’t challenge an idea that doesn’t make sense, you can pretend to but in reality you are just making a fool of yourself entirely. 

Fake. The opposite of what I try to be. I think being fake is the root of misunderstandings and idiocricy. If you begin there then everything beyond that is a lie that will one day crumble and bury you in the rubble of what’s left. 

~BlondHeadedHunk~

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Girls, Humor, Life, Personal Note, Relationships

Don’t You Remember?

I am not a parent. Just want to make that clear right off hand, I am not particularly interested in having kids, at least not anytime soon. However, a friend of mine was talking to me tonight and it seems that when your a teenager and you have a guy/girl you like there is no end to the issues you can get from parents. At least conservative parents. No matter how “By the book” you try to do it, they always come up with some reason that you can’t go out or that you shouldn’t date this guy or that girl and the list goes on. They were kids once too, why does it seem that they can’t remember what that was like? Their crazy dating days where who knows what they did. Of course its all too likely that the reason they object so much is they do remember those days. On the flip side, did they listen when they were told not to do what they are telling you not to do? Probably not. Now my entire goal here, originally, was to sort of ask why can’t parents remember those days and cut some slack. It seems like they forget what it was like to be a kid, to want to go out and hang with your significant other. Go on a dinner date, go to a movie, whatever it is. However, I have a hard time arguing that in some ways because I tend to believe that they are telling us not to do what ever it is because they don’t want to see us get hurt and jaded by the people in our lives that claim to be such great people. They want us to learn from their mistakes, but who can really learn from another persons mistakes? Even if we claim that we did, how likely is it that in a few years, or whenever it is that we have the choice, we won’t go out and do exactly what we were told not to and learn ourselves. I say its inevitable. I am willing to bet that everyone reading this has done something that a parent or colleague told you not to do because they had tried it and it didn’t go well. Could be anything from mixing the wrong alcohol, driving down that street or ordering that food at a restaurant cause whats better than hearing from someone? Doing it and finding out the result.

In a way I guess we are scientist in our own way. Mix this that and the other and boom! It exploded just like we were told, but now we know for sure. Now we won’t try it again because a mistake made and a lesson learned is far easier to adhere to than a mistake not made and a lesson told. So, dearest parents, why can’t you seem to remember that sometimes? You know what the result will most likely be, and I’m sure you are hoping that your kids aren’t just like you and that they will listen. However, this is not a perfect world and those are not perfect kids and I bet they will go and do it anyway.

Now I am not referring to your 6 yr. old that you told not to touch the stove (Although they are going to do that too) but I am talking more about teenagers. I know, awful people, truly the damned worst thing ever, but still they exist (I barely just made it out of that realm so I speak somewhat for myself in saying this). Life is what it is and all we really want is to go on a date with our significant other. So what gives? Where is the line between “You are going to die if you go out” and “Do whatever you want honey, its your life”. I don’t disclaim the fact that guidance is necessary but innocent fun can also be a necessity at times. Let me go, let me enjoy my evening and I will be back at 11pm sharp oh astute parent. All jokes aside though, maybe a little understanding would be great “Listen honey, I know you think you know it all but I just want to say that I will be putting a tracker on you and there is a can of mace in your left jacket pocket. If he touches you then spray him and send me a message. I will come pick you up.” I don’t know, give some sort of alternative? “Tell your man thing to come to the house and we can all watch a movie together” is not what I call an alternative, thats just humiliating torture. Sorry to say, no one wants to meet you right away. Most likely we will only go out a few times, a few months at the most so why get you all involved at this point? Then you want an explanation for why we broke up when honestly all I want to do is curl up in a ball in my room and mope for a week about how awful of a person they were. Just try to see my point of view and I will try to see yours and in the end maybe we can all live happily ever after as parent and child and I can have some fun and we can reminisce about the memories later. I will tell you that you were probably right and I made a mistake, but for now I am not going to admit that.

Your Kid

~BlondHeadedHunk~

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Friends, Friendships, Life, People, Thoughts

Little Things

It’s amazing how the simple things in life are really what makes life. The laughs with friends about gifs, random late night talks and the deep thoughts you connect on. When someone buys you a coffee or goes with you to dinner. When someone tells you they enjoyed what you wrote or appreciated the seemingly unnoticed thing you did. All the little things add up and make life really enjoyable and worthwhile. 

It seems like these days people forget that, the world is constantly upset about something and never can seem to pause and realize that amongst all the bad there is still good things happening everyday. When was the last time you did something small then brighten someone else’s day? Could be an extra tip to your waitress/waiter or paying for the coffee of the person behind you in the drive through. Could be just telling someone thank you or giving them a small compliment. If everyone did this I think the world would be a better place to live, more enjoyable, healthier, happier and all around just less negative. I’m grateful for the people in my life, are you? I don’t know if I tell them enough but nonetheless I try to make their day a little better in some way. Life is give and take, the more you put in the more you get out. Maybe you should give a little so you can get a little. Not every road is a one way street, turn down the ones you can and blast your happiness to those that live on it. Let them know you want to help them and I’m sure they will one day help you. So thank you to everyone who not only reads my posts but to my friends who encourage me everyday to continue writing. Shoutout to the GingerGirl and Mal and so many others, you guys keep me posting and I know I just recently did kind of a thank you post but tonight I realize how important it is to have great friends. Keep loving, laughing and giving y’all! 

~BlondHeadedHunk~

P.S. I will be working on a couple posts this week but if anyone has something they want me to write about, please comment. Not gonna lie, my brains been runnin a bit dry.

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Emotions, People, Relationships

A Broken Canvas

     “Y’know, she/he loved me once upon a time”. The thought makes your mind marvel how some things change in an instant. One day, you’re with them, and you feel like they are the one you could’ve lived with for the rest of your life. The next… you are brokenhearted, now only strangers with shared memories.

       Heartbreak…it comes again and again, always having a new way for you to experience it. You thought you had already moved on from him/her and life was going great. Then you came across a long lost photo, a mutual close friend from the past, or a song that wrung the melody summing up all the feelings you’d ever felt for that person. The feelings are as strong as ever and leave you wondering “Could it have worked? Was it my fault? What if I had changed this or waited out the emotional storm. Would he/she still be mine?”

        There is a time when you will look back on all that you experienced with them and really truly appreciate those moments you shared. A bitter sweet sensation. Feeling the pain of separation after growing so close for so long. But simultaneously feeling the joy, love, desire, freedom and longing you once had when you were together.

        But you’ve learned from this… You did love them, you probably still do somewhere deep within you… But you are no longer “in love” with them. All the countless memories you shared, all those great times are times that probably won’t ever be erased from either of your minds. Unfortunately, too much damage, too many complications or whatever it was.. brought you, him/her, or both to the conclusion that it was time to say goodbye… One or the other, possibly even both agreeing that you tried to put the pieces together and they simply just wouldn’t fit mutually as one anymore maybe like they did before. It just simply wasn’t meant to be. Neither really wishes pain or sadness upon the other. You really did love them once upon a time and in the past when you were together, you would’ve wanted the best for them without even thinking twice about it. Deep down the heartache will always be there along with the thoughts of what you could’ve been. But time has past and things have changed since then. New people, new faces, new experiences, new opportunities. My hope is that you have found some sort of closure by accepting that letting go and moving on is better for the both of you and that you will find the one person who’s heart collides perfectly with your own.

Written by:

GingerGirlSunflower

In A Sunflowers World

Edited by:

Yours always ~BlondHeadedHunk~

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Advice, Emotions, Friends, Life, People, Relationships, Thoughts

Thoughts = Value

Thoughts run round my mind, nothing here to tie them down. 

A thought, a feeling, both are nothing more nor nothing less. You can’t sell either but both are priceless. 

Many people have thoughts that they never express, feelings they never allow to be felt. They keep them caged as if afraid of their own ability to tell someone what they really mean. Living day to day, hiding from the truth. 

You must learn to value your thoughts before you can teach someone else to value them. Don’t be scared of how you feel, or what you think, show it. Let others know. Be heard. You have an outlook that no one else has, that someone else may need to have. Those thoughts could save a life, those feelings could save a relationship. 

We benefit by saying what we need to say, it gives us value for ourselves and others. 

Thoughts ran round, thoughts ran out. Thoughts were said, they are no longer thoughts; they are words. 

~blondheadedhunk 

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Life, Relationships

Still Interested?

After you breakup with someone do you ever try to stay friends with them? No, of course not that’s not even a question that most would consider. Every now and then it just seems to happen though, maybe not right at first but eventually sometimes you can be friends with an ex after awhile and feel natural about it. Maybe there’s even still sexual tension between the two of you but somehow it’s super easy to just talk and relax. 

Why couldn’t it have started this way? Maybe it’s just that we think maybe they are the one so we invest in them on some higher level hoping they will invest back but once we pass that phase we can both invest the same amount and become friends. 

I have no particular point to this post, simply an observation. 

~ BlondHeadedHunk

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Friends, Life, Relationships

Friends

Sometimes the person your looking for is right infront of you they are just too scared to show you their true self. When you can get past those barriers and see them though you’ll find someone who is more amazing than you imagined. 

Try to be the kind of friend you would want so you can make the friends you want. True friends are hard to come by but when you find them it’s a diamond you should keep forever. 

~ BlondHeadedHunk

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