Something New?

There’s so much to write about but little time to do it in. I’m turning a new leaf in my life, I’m going places finally. To those of you who were early readers of my blog (when I was posting) I’ve changed a lot. Part of me wants to tell you the stories of these past years. The places I’ve gone, the women I’ve loved, the jobs I’ve hated, the joy and the tears and all of it. It’s been beautiful and painful and healing and…it’s been making me the man I am today. Part of me is having to say goodbye to things I don’t want to lose and another part is embracing the changes and the new beauty to find in the world around me. The small things that fulfill goals for me, point me in the direction of my future and build me day by day to be whoever I’m meant to be.

I’m going to be starting a new blog, a different name and a different brand. I’d love some input from y’all, what’s you thoughts for names and maybe a new screen name? This one will focus a bit more on the things I’ve experienced in my life, it’ll be more of a story in a way with parts of it focused on random encouragements and thoughts I have. I want everyone to learn to love life even when life feels like it’s the worst it could be. I haven’t been through the worst things, I know I can’t claim to have experienced half the things many of my friends have experienced, but maybe I can still give you a new perspective.

Drop some comments below with names.

For now,

~BlondHeadedHunk~

P.S.

Em, if you read this I need you to know I wouldn’t be who I am without you. It’s been hard letting go of everything we were and part of me still holds on to…you taught me so much. Thank you. Truly, I can’t express how much you meant and still mean to me ❤

Photograph

I’m almost done working in California. It’s been a good trip. I’ve learned a lot. Weird how life changes. I reconnected with an old friend while I was here and we went from not talking to talking a lot and being good friends. Now we talk but our friendship evolved a lot while I was here. Things never stay the same no matter how hard you try to keep them. We constantly evolve from day to day, usually it’s a slow change that you might not notice till you look back over the days, weeks, and months and see where you started and where you are now. Sometimes the change is good, sometimes bad and sometimes neither. Change is definitely inevitable though. 

Now I sit on the back patio looking forward to the next part of my journey and worn out from the stress of the last week. This has nothing to do with any of what I have said but I miss having a connection with someone. I have friends but I don’t have the deep connection with anyone like I used to have…I guess even that comes and goes at times. Nothing stays the same. Friends, work, things, they all fade like photographs. 

I’m tired. Very tired. I need the break I soon will have. 

Goodnight peeps, have an awesome week. It’ll be over before you know it so savor everyday because tomorrow is different. 

~BlondeHeadedHunk~

Mercy

I couldn’t wait on this post, there’s a lot I could say here.

Most might see mercy and think of the literal meaning of mercy, however when I think of mercy I think of a healer. Restoration comes to mind, mercy from someone can not only heal you but can boost you to new heights. It can power you up to be a better person. To fight harder, longer and with more strength for them than if they only gave you one chance. 

Mercy, a play on words to some, and some of you have no idea what I mean. You see, I am a gamer as well as a blogger and one of my favorite titles is Overwatch. Mercy is a healer and can be the difference between life and death. In fact, I want to take a moment and give Mal a shoutout for being the best mercy I have ever played with in Overwatch! I actually became friends with her when playing 3v3 and got her on my team as a random person and she was such a good mercy that we became friends. So if you play overwatch (Xbox only) and need an awesome healer you might see if you can snag her! Besides being an awesome Mercy (and anything else she plays) Mal is the first person to comment on my most recent post, so thank you for being an avid reader of my blog! Your the best! 

Deeper though, mercy can restore you in real life, when you mess up sometimes it is easy to beat yourself up. You forgot your girlfriends anniversary, forgot your little boys soccer game, or maybe you completely messed up and made the unforgivable mistake (whatever that might be). Immediately, when you realize it, it’s easy to be the one who kicks yourself even lower until you feel like less of a human than the dirt you walk on. At that moment, when mercy is showed you by the right person, it brings you back up. They remind you that you’re still important to them, they heal you and help you remember you mean something to them more than the small act you forgot to do or the mistake you made.

~BlondHeadedHunk~

Pressure Me Not

Pressure, in a word, a force put upon an object. In life, that deadline from your teacher on a homework assignment. Your boss telling you to turn that report in and the lady at Starbucks asking for your order. 

Pressure is everywhere pushing us to do something at any given time. What if the pressure was removed? Is pressure like gravity? Except instead of holding us to the earth it pushes us forward in life to accomplish the next objective? Even games have pressure. Think of your favorite board game, video game, computer game, they all pressure you to accomplish something in order to win. Remove that pressure and then what? Would life stop? Without it could the drive that makes life go round stop in its tracks and our goals float away? A lot of unanswered questions there and I can’t say I have an answer to them. I could speculate that there is a good and bad side to the pressure of life. It can make us stressed, but there’s lots of fulfillment when the task is accomplished and the deadline gone. Take that away and you would lose joy. 

Perhaps…I actually don’t have anything to put after that perhaps. To be honest I could say I feel a certain amount of pressure to post a blog daily or else I lose my readers interest and attention. Without that though, I would not post and for some of you, that might be a sad day. But back to the matter at hand.

The things that push us in life to make decisions and to choose the next step can be handled in different ways. Some of us enjoy the push, others wither under it and are driven to avoid it at all cost. Some at the cost of life itself. 

So how do you handle that pressure from everyone around you? Well my concept that I use on a daily basis is focus on what’s important. Focus on the task at hand and don’t let others press you to do what they think you should. When I go to order at a restaurant and the waiter asks what I want and I don’t know, I ask what they recommend. Maybe we could diffuse the pressure by simply allowing others to help us make some decisions. Let another in, ask their opinion and don’t do it all yourself. They are the pin to your balloon, in a sense, used to relieve the pressures of life and the constant push so that you can relax instead of running all the time. 

Let someone help you, don’t be a “One man show”. Put a pin in your pressure balloon and deflate that bitch before it deflates you.

~BlondHeadedHunk~

A Broken Canvas

     “Y’know, she/he loved me once upon a time”. The thought makes your mind marvel how some things change in an instant. One day, you’re with them, and you feel like they are the one you could’ve lived with for the rest of your life. The next… you are brokenhearted, now only strangers with shared memories.

       Heartbreak…it comes again and again, always having a new way for you to experience it. You thought you had already moved on from him/her and life was going great. Then you came across a long lost photo, a mutual close friend from the past, or a song that wrung the melody summing up all the feelings you’d ever felt for that person. The feelings are as strong as ever and leave you wondering “Could it have worked? Was it my fault? What if I had changed this or waited out the emotional storm. Would he/she still be mine?”

        There is a time when you will look back on all that you experienced with them and really truly appreciate those moments you shared. A bitter sweet sensation. Feeling the pain of separation after growing so close for so long. But simultaneously feeling the joy, love, desire, freedom and longing you once had when you were together.

        But you’ve learned from this… You did love them, you probably still do somewhere deep within you… But you are no longer “in love” with them. All the countless memories you shared, all those great times are times that probably won’t ever be erased from either of your minds. Unfortunately, too much damage, too many complications or whatever it was.. brought you, him/her, or both to the conclusion that it was time to say goodbye… One or the other, possibly even both agreeing that you tried to put the pieces together and they simply just wouldn’t fit mutually as one anymore maybe like they did before. It just simply wasn’t meant to be. Neither really wishes pain or sadness upon the other. You really did love them once upon a time and in the past when you were together, you would’ve wanted the best for them without even thinking twice about it. Deep down the heartache will always be there along with the thoughts of what you could’ve been. But time has past and things have changed since then. New people, new faces, new experiences, new opportunities. My hope is that you have found some sort of closure by accepting that letting go and moving on is better for the both of you and that you will find the one person who’s heart collides perfectly with your own.

Written by:

GingerGirlSunflower

In A Sunflowers World

Edited by:

Yours always ~BlondHeadedHunk~

Color Inside The Lines

Recently I proposed a question to a good friend of mine and she came up with some great thoughts. It’s an abstract idea that I came up with and she had some amazing ideas I wanted to share with you guys. She has her own blog that I will link below as well so give her a follow!

Q. If life was a book and you had to find a way to color it what would it be? Are emotions the paint we use to color our daily life? Are we missing the beauty in each day by covering up our colors? Do you paint? Is it in pastel or neon? Black and white or shades of grey? 

A. These colors that represent our emotions are in the depths of each of our lives, they form an everlasting canvas that stretches throughout infinity. Each of us has a part to play in our own way, to fill in the canvas. Black outlines twist and twirl to make many diverse patterns, shapes, and forms. We do with the canvas what we will, some leaving spaces void of color. Others fill the blank spaces between the lines with colors, patterns, pictures, making none of them the same. Everyone has their own way of filling in the lines and some pay no mind to the lines at all. Instead they fill it with scribbles, and chaotic ideas all their own. Some days we can’t help but go outside the lines…the daily struggle to keep our colors inside the lines is our endeavor to get through whatever struggles we so happen to be facing. 

Some can not contain themselves and have the pressing desire to stand out, to be known… using bright and brilliant colors. Some days, trying to hold back what we can not or maybe should not express becomes nearly impossible and it bursts out of our hearts as a great uncontrollable fountain. Colors spilling outside the lines and even onto other’s portions of the canvas.

Some hide the brilliant colors inside, shading their canvas with a pencil, only letting people see the bare minimum. Hiding behind dark shades of grey and black making the lines disappear and join with the rest of the picture. 

Some are expressionless, blank, they feel nothing and show nothing. The picture of their life seems almost empty and meaningless to the casual observer. It may even feel empty to themselves at times. 

We can effect other people by coloring outside the lines because it is so expressed and obvious. The lines that they carefully follow, are distorted because life is a canvas…everyone struggles to stay within their bounds…but this is life we are talking about. Nobody is picture perfect…most everyone has or will color outside the lines more than once in the short time they have…

These colors, the emotions that govern our day to day can be seen in the good and the bad. Anger, happiness, sadness, contentment, love, hate, they all color our canvas but some express these colors in bright neons that seem to glow to those around them. The emotions are so strong that others can not only see but feel those emotions. Some people take those colors and mix them into their own pictures creating new shades that can darken and muddle their painting. Others are completely oblivious to the color around them, their canvas takes on a picture all of its own that even they can’t see. Still others simply admire what they see around them but paint an entirely different picture because they are impervious to the influence of the art they marvel at. 

We all choose different colors that match our particular needs, wants and feelings. Some prefer a pastel to the neons while some prefer no color at all. This doesn’t make them dull, it modestly sets them apart from others. When seen from a distance the twists and twirls blend together to make a mosaic that is your life and mine twined together through space and time. 
Life, a beautiful picture that you can paint how you like. Do you pay attention to the lines or do you color the picture the way you want it? 

~BlondHeadedHunk~

• GingerGirlSunflower


In A Sunflowers World

Withering Void

Some times it seems that the day to day makes you wither away. You have to constantly fight against who you are and who others want you to be and who you might should be. The struggle wears you out day by day until you sit and just feel the ravaged void the fight as left behind.

Is this the end? Is this where the fight stops or is this where it begins? 

Out of that void you are either made or destroyed. Do you emerge from it, stronger than before with a better knowledge of who you are or do you let it consume you until there’s nothing left? The choice is yours. 

~BlondHeadedHunk~

Thoughts = Value

Thoughts run round my mind, nothing here to tie them down. 

A thought, a feeling, both are nothing more nor nothing less. You can’t sell either but both are priceless. 

Many people have thoughts that they never express, feelings they never allow to be felt. They keep them caged as if afraid of their own ability to tell someone what they really mean. Living day to day, hiding from the truth. 

You must learn to value your thoughts before you can teach someone else to value them. Don’t be scared of how you feel, or what you think, show it. Let others know. Be heard. You have an outlook that no one else has, that someone else may need to have. Those thoughts could save a life, those feelings could save a relationship. 

We benefit by saying what we need to say, it gives us value for ourselves and others. 

Thoughts ran round, thoughts ran out. Thoughts were said, they are no longer thoughts; they are words. 

~blondheadedhunk 

Why Cry?

What is an emotion? Its not something you can touch, you cant really explain it, it just happens. What makes us become happy, or sad? What makes us cry when something hurts us or laugh when something is funny? What does funny mean anyway? What makes us care about someone or something else?

I am sure there is some scientific explanation for why all these things happen to us but if you sit and think about them without the scientific knowledge, they all seem very odd. Somehow laughing helps show that happiness inside to those around you. Crying provides you with some sort of release from sadness. If you’re depressed than talking to someone can help you work through your problems.

But again, what causes it? I discussed it with a friend and I can’t say we really came up with an answer. Something about neurons in the brain firing and making emotions but neither of us understand how that works. One thing is for sure, without emotions life would be very boring. If you watched a movie and there was no humor or you didn’t feel happy when the main character accomplished his goal than what would be the point? If you ran a race and weren’t proud when you came in 1st place than you most likely wouldn’t run. Feelings, in a way, motivate us to do things, connect us to those around us and bring enjoyment into our lives. They are powerful, but I still wonder why we have tears or a laugh…

~ BlondHeadedHunk